mindFULL

by Hashmoder

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Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of Brutalist (Raw Concrete Mix), Getting There, mindFULL, NightVision Six, NightVision 5.3.1 EP, Hedinas (Part-1 & Part-2), Tranquil (Vocal), Tranquil (Instrumental), and 1 more. , and , .

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about

'mindFULL' is carefully constructed electronic music track with synthesizer baselines (syncopated), granular synthesis and pad layers, all evolving very tightly in and out of each other texturally and musically, along a mildly distorted groove of a drum machine.

This track is about being a victim/survivor from a highly manipulative and malignant person who has borderline and narcissistic personality disorders on the full spectrum. Hence the dreamy ethereal sounds. Overall meaning is about the honeymoon state at the start of the relationship, but then it becomes chaotic; whenever there was chaos, the abused victim dreams of going back to the honeymoon state and staying there for validation ('trauma bonding') after being devalued and discarded by the borderline/narcissist; and no matter what, even after the relationship is over, a part of the victim still loves and misses the good idea/image which the abused only hopes the abuser to become (again: trauma bonding). Hence the middle part of the track sounding chaotic but quantized, then gradually going back to pleasant-sounding etherealness. In essence, this track is about a dream of 'what it might've been' if everything stayed constantly beautiful; and also it’s a mourning -- the death of someone whom the victim misses terribly but that person does not exist in real life, because such a person is a chameleon, a person wearing a mask at all times, lacking empathy.

______________________________

lyrics

LYRICS:

BIG ROUND EYES
BEAUTIFUL FACE
POISE AND GRACE
A LOVE REVISED

THIS STORY BEGINS
HEART OF HEARTS
VISION, DESIRE
MIND AND SPIRIT

THICKENING SKIN
IMAGINED ART
TRANSITION, FIRE
REFINED AND VIVID

DREAMING OF TWO
REGARD AND TRUST
RELIANCE, SHELTER
HONOR AND PRIDE

KINDNESS, VIRTUE
MERCY AND JUST
FORGIVER, HELPER
UNION MAGNIFIED

CHAOS
I MUST WARN YOU
CHAOS
IT’S JUST A DREAM
CHAOS
GOT TO GET UP
CHAOS
I WARNED YOU

FLY
FADING AWAY
FLY

FLY
FADING AWAY
FLY
FADING AWAY

CHAMELEON
EXPLOITATION
AMBIVALENCE
DEGRADATION

credits

released January 1, 2019
Hashmoder (Omar Hash): Music composition, sound design, instruments, vocals, vocoder, arrangements, programming, mixing and mastering.

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about

Hashmoder West Vancouver, British Columbia

Professional music producer & artist. Synthesist & music programmer. Pro-audio sound designer, engineer, mixer, master. Studio owner. Music enthusiast & collector.

Born Omar Hash. Raised in London, England, and Toronto, Canada. Currently living in West Vancouver, British Columbia. ... more

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